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Or How to Avoid Looking Like a Complete Guiri
Lunch at 2:30 PM until 5 PM, dinner at 8:30 PM until midnight. Your stomach will adapt, eventually. Maybe. It feels good to be eating dinner at midnight, not gonna lie.
Many(!) shops close in the afternoon, all at different times. Plan accordingly or embrace impromptu nap time. This is borderline annoying and has led to 10 PM dentist appointments since all those hours closed for siesta end up getting pushed back.
Spaniards are close talkers. If you can count their eyelashes, you’re probably still too far away. Also, they don’t really notice when you’re trying to past them on a sidewalk.
In some places, they’re free with a drink. In others, you pay. In Madrid, they’re called ‘pinchos’. In San Sebastien they’re amazing and called something else entirely. It’s complicated.
It’s more like “hey.” Use “buenos días/tardes/noches” for a proper greeting. Me, I whenever I say hola someone usually answers with hasta luego. And when I say hasta luego they almost always greet me with hola. I’m somehow always off on this.
The art of lingering after a meal. Mastering this is key to Spanish integration. One of the best things is that servers are never anxious to turn over your table.
Learn the basics or prepare for some very confused looks. The season never ends. Kids aged eight in Spain are as good as kids aged 14 in the US.
Like, really late. 1 AM is when things start warming up. I’ve routinely seen people getting home at 8 AM.
It’s hot, many locals are on vacation, and some businesses close. But the beaches are great! Literally, it’s laughable that tourists go to Sevilla in August. The city is a frying pan and almost completely empty.
Prepare to hear Arnold Schwarzenegger speaking fluent Spanish. He’s pretty good actually.
Catalan, Basque, Galician… Spain is more than just Spanish. It’s a nation of many nations. A region of many regions. Held only together by the national fútbol team, as far as I can tell.
5-10% for good service is appreciated but not expected. But, honestly, we don’t tip. It’s a bit strange. Servers may actually chase you down to give the tip back. Don’t ruin this for us.
Locals drink tinto de verano. It’s similar but less fancy (and cheaper). I’ve almost never seen a local order a sangria in over five years.
It’s a potato omelette and it’s delicious. Don’t embarrass yourself by asking for salsa. Me, I prefer the Mexican stuff. Please don’t tell anyone as I’ll be immediately deported.
Vegetarians, prepare for a challenge. “Sin carne” often still includes ham. In fact, Iberico ham is considered vegan as the pigs only eat acorns.
It’s mainly an Andalusian thing. Don’t expect flamenco dancers on every corner in Madrid. I’ve had Northern Spain people refer to where I live – Andalusia – as “oh, yeah, that olé place (eye roll) with the spotted dresses.”
RENFE, Spain’s national railway, is efficient and often cheaper than flying. But, for our family of five, driving is almost always cheaper.
Especially in tourist areas. That “free” bracelet isn’t really free. Just like in Rome, don’t take things people hand you.
Real paella is from Valencia and doesn’t have chorizo. Prepare for passionate debates.
Remember, the key to enjoying Spain is to embrace the laid-back lifestyle, perfect your “no pasa nada” attitude, and always be ready for an impromptu fiesta. Oh, and learn to love jamón. Vegetarians, I’m sorry, but it’s everywhere. Buen viaje!