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Where the Kids Roam

Adventures in Parenting Adventures with Kids

Rho Takes a Break

Because life is exhausting. 

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wherethekidsroam
I can’t believe we’re going to wake up tomorro I can’t believe we’re going to wake up tomorrow and this nightmare will all be over. 🥳 This means I can: finally burn the mask I wear that gave me eczema on my face perfectly in the shape of the mask I wear; go back to being coughed on by people in small elevators who like to cough on me while making eye contact; comfortably use my t-shirt to wipe off the butt sweat of somebody who just used the shoulder press machine before me at the gym; and allow myself to linger uncomfortably on full-frontal hugs with people I just met. It’ll be just like old times again. 😳#isthishowitworks #newyear #goodbye2020 #backtonormal • Seriously, did anyone else notice the lack of common colds, the flu, whooping cough, impetigo, norovirus, dengue, and Ebola that our kids usually bring home from school each winter? I kinda miss dengue and rapid weight loss if I’m being honest. But are we ever going to give up masks and social distancing now? 🤔😱😑 • I heard today that loneliness is equivalent to smoking a pack of cigarettes a day. That means, by my calculations, I roughly smoked 300 packs of cigarettes this year. I suppose I should resolve to stop smoking, but I don’t feel I can do it alone. 😔🙂🙃 • Happy New Year everyone 🎇 🍾 #2020won
Merry Christmas from the six of us! 🎄👨‍👩‍👧‍👦👨‍👦
The trick to shooting landscapes when your annoyin The trick to shooting landscapes when your annoying family keeps jumping into the picture is just to dress them so that they blend in with the background. #problemsolved #phototips • I’m not great at starting conversations, but I’ll try. Where do? I mean, what? Well, that is. Umm. How do you go to? I mean, where you go when COVID go bye bye? What country? Please respond so that I can ignore your answer and then randomly reply eight weeks later at 3am your time. #badatinstagram • Ok, gotta run. Our chat has been fun. Back to trying to learn how to (enjoy) TikTok. I can’t wait to get all my trendy entertainment needs satiated in 15 second doses. I hear the trend this week involves people ripping out other people’s hair so that it makes a popping sound (no joke). I can’t wait. I have so much to learn from the youth. • #portugaltravel #lisbonlife #lisbonalive #lisbonportugal🇵🇹 #travelfamilyblog #familyvacation #familyvacay #portugalpassion #portugalvisuals #portugal_lovers @visitportugal
Some of the best moments in life happen when your Some of the best moments in life happen when your wife won’t exit the car because it’s too hot outside. 😘 @socal_to_sevilla • #spitzkoppe #namibia #travelwithkids #tripadvisorkids #roaminggnome #familytravel #hikingwithkids #wanderfam
When we land in your country, you’ll know. @wher When we land in your country, you’ll know. @wherethekidsroam • Iceland = most beautiful country everrrrrrrrrrrrrr. • Please let me know what you think is the most beautiful country in the world (and then I’ll let you know why you’re wrong 😈😠👎🏻😾)! • #travelnomad #wanderout #wandermore #wanderlusters #wanderlustlife #braveandfreeadventures #adventureofalifetime #adventuregram
I thought 2020 was going to be the year I got ever I thought 2020 was going to be the year I got everything I wanted. But it turns out it’s just the year I’m grateful for everything I already have. • Seriously, this has been the best, and yet, toughest year of my life. The worst was losing that major, lucrative international modeling job because I’m short and unattractive 😒😅 • Btw, if you go to Namibia (and you should), you have to stay with @gondwanalodges They treated me like the beautiful princess I am 🙋🏼‍♂️
If I didn’t read the news each day, I’d swear If I didn’t read the news each day, I’d swear this was the best year of my life. 😒🤔😃 #happinessnow #enlightenmentnow • I have this giant wheel of captions in my house (it’s about the size of the wheel on Wheel of Fortune...a bit overkill, I know). And every 4-10 days I’m forced to spin the wheel in a pathetic effort to stay relevant (do people even read IG posts anymore? Or has everyone moved onto Reels, Stories, TikTok, or, god forbid, actually have a real life? 😱). Mostly the wheel lands on “make fun of wife”, “make fun of influencers”, “make fun of self”, or, sometimes, unfortunately, “make joke that will cancel me”. But today, for some godawful reason, it landed on “be positive.” 🤮 This is my poor effort to do so. • Being alive now > being a famous dead person. Remember that. This means you and I are greater than Alexander the Great🤴🏻#greaterthangreat #greatfulness • 2+0+2+0=4 pretty much sums up 2020, no? #technicallytrue • In the end, we have such little, precious time on this earth. Thus, I think you should just take a moment to tell me how much you love me and how grateful you are to have me in your life. I think it will help us both (especially me). Namaste. 🙏🏻😃🙌🏻 • #wanderfam #madbadtraveldad #traveldad #travelfam #wanderlust #holidayswithkids #exploremore #getoutside #wandering #vacaykids
Anyone who knows me knows what a negative, fatalis Anyone who knows me knows what a negative, fatalistic, cynical ass I am. So, here’s my attempt to be positive. I am positive we’re all going to die (very soon). Happy Friday!! 🥳 • This is a picture of my kids impatiently awaiting the rapture. 😒 • Where in your house do you plan on sobbing uncontrollably when the end times are upon us? 💀 • I literally read/watched so much this week by @garyvee about how I’m supposed to put out positive, uplifting content. And this is what I came up with 😬🤷🏼‍♂️ #ineedhelp 😂 • Hashtag hashtag hashtag that won’t do anything hashtag hashtag hashtag hashtag hashtag taghash taghash hashytaggy hashy mctagster #bali
Happiest of birthdays to my youngest. Even though Happiest of birthdays to my youngest. Even though he weighs more than his older siblings, and even though he acts like he’s their fraternity big brother, and, well, even though the dirt he brings into our lives on a daily basis is slowly killing us, he’s still our baby and always will be. 👶🏻💕😍🥳🤩 #happybirthday #cumpleañosfeliz • #mallorca #mallorca🌴 #holidayswithkids #travelfamily #wanderfam #familytravel #familytravels
This is basically me watching the US presidential This is basically me watching the US presidential election results right now. Only with way more anxiety and way less enjoyment. #usa🇺🇸 • Will it be over soon? Will democracy survive? Will people respect us again? Will the sun rise tomorrow? Can I safely drink any more alcohol than I already am? • #wanderfam #balilife #bali🌴 #baliindonesia #balitrip #traveldad #travelfam #wanderlust #holidayswithkids #exploremore #getoutside #wandering #vacaykids
Here’s a photo of somewhere that looks fairly Eu Here’s a photo of somewhere that looks fairly Europe-y. It was probably taken in the capital of Europe, or something like that. Like, the city of Malta in the country of Paris. I dunno. So, yeah, there you go. You’re welcome. Don’t say I never gave you anything. #geologylesson • Btw, looks like Europe is going to lock down again soon. Tell me your favorite place in Europe that you’ll never, ever get to see again and why you have tears in your eyes right now👇🏻🙀😉😘 • #wanderfam #traveldad #travelfam #wanderlust #holidayswithkids #exploremore #getoutside #wandering #vacaykids #traveladdict #travellife #travelphoto #travelpics #traveldiaries #travelbug #TravelAwesome #travelpic #travelers #travelstoke #travelgirl #traveldiary #traveldeeper #travellingthroughtheworld #travellers #travelph #travelersnotebook #travelmore
Big giveaway time! 🥳 • Win a chance to trave Big giveaway time! 🥳 • Win a chance to travel with us and watch my kids the entire trip while my wife and I enjoy ourselves.* • To enter, just tag someone, anyone. Bonus entry if it’s a person you don’t like. Another bonus entry if, in the comments, you accuse that person of doing something they never actually did. • The winner will be announced by a drawing that I have manipulated so that you have no chance to win. • *Flights, meals, and accommodations not included. Void where people are crazy. Sorry Florida 😕 • Good luck 🍀👍🏻 • #familytravel #wanderfam #holidayswithkids #travellingfamily #familytravels #lisboa🇵🇹 #Lisbon @portugal #portugal🇵🇹 #adventurefamily #wanderlust
Never going back to California. ✌🏻🌅 • I Never going back to California. ✌🏻🌅 • I know others will want to know how we escaped. That’s why I created an e-book titled “How to Quickly sell your California Home with an Ocean View and give away all your Expensive Furniture just to Move into a Tiny Apartment in a Country that Makes it Nearly Impossible to do Simple Things like Open a Bank Account.” The e-book is priced to sell - $699.00 (reduced from $799.00). They’re digital, but still, somehow, there are only a handful of copies left. Act quickly. • As you can tell from the photo, we’re models. DM me for campaigns (I hope you’re good at Photoshop). • 📸: @gingerously_g • #españa🇪🇸 #espanha #wanderfam #holidayswithkids #hikingwithkids #igtravelling #covadonga #asturias #wanderlusters #kidsonholiday #familytravel #familytravels #familyportrait #familyadventures
(Us, from left to right) Finger in his eye, she’ (Us, from left to right) Finger in his eye, she’s not looking, her hand is over her face, I have a cheesy-yet-simultaneously-creepy-serial-killer smile, and he’s crying uncontrollably. And this was our BEST shot 🤦🏼‍♂️ • THIS is why we’re not the bucketlist family (and because we’re older, have to work for a living, are less cute, less wholesome, work out way less (because we’re working), and I say the word “fuck” a lot in my posts...oh and I’m not constantly “motivating” people by selling them things they don’t need. So, yeah, a lot going against us 😅😘). #jealousy • Click the link in bio to purchase my e-book called “The Complete Guide to Convincing Everyone you’re Living the Dream so they’ll Hand Over Their Money to Buy your e-book about Living the Dream.” • #wanderfam #travelwithkids #holidayswithkids #wanderingteam #spaintravel #familytravel #familytravels #travellingthroughtheworld #espanapic #castlesofinstagram #lonelyplanetspain #parentinglife
My favorite thing about social distancing is it’ My favorite thing about social distancing is it’s no longer acceptable for strangers to come up behind me, put their arms around me, kiss my neck, and whisper sweet nothings in my ear. It was starting to make me uncomfortable. • Even though I rarely post, I’ve completely run out of things to say in captions, obviously. Next caption, swear to god, will be “live, laugh, love.” • This spot is super close to another amazing @gondwanalodges lodge. Even if you’re camping, stay with them. They have heaps of campsites too. 🏕 • #namibia #holidayswithkids #travelfamily #familytravel #familytravels #outdoors #africa #namib #igtravel
If you asked me, I’d say two of the best decisio If you asked me, I’d say two of the best decisions I’ve ever made is having children and moving to Europe. If you asked my wife, I can guarantee she’d only say it was marrying me. Almost certain about this one. Yeah, positive. It’s marrying me. Final answer. But let’s not ask her. 🤫 Let’s just assume that’s her answer. I find life is much better when I operate through wild assumptions. #iassumeshewontreadthis #iassumeimtheonlyguyshehaseversleptwith #iassumeimnotgoingbald #iassumeimsupertall #iassumegirlswantme #iassumeguyswanttobeme • It was too cold to swim outside, so we spent all morning swimming indoors in the heated pool. You really think of everything @montesantoalgarve 🤔💡😃🙏🏻 Have I mentioned that our room came stocked with food, water, beer, and wine? #bliss 🤤 • #montesantoresort #montesantoalgarve #carvoeiro #algarve #bestholidays #visitalgarve #visitportugal #cantskipalgarve #cantskipportugal #cleanandsafe #turismo #ferias #holidays
We cut the boys’ hair to circumvent the Instagra We cut the boys’ hair to circumvent the Instagram robots who think I’m constantly posting pictures of topless girls. Having said that, yesterday some guy said I had such lovely girls and asked me if they were triplets. So I give up...🤦🏼‍♂️ • We’re currently at a super fun resort that’s super clean. Kids are in love with the indoor heated pools, I’m in love with all the caipirinhas I drink while they’re at the Kids Club! 😅 @montesantoalgarve #montesantoresort #montesantoalgarve #carvoeiro #algarve #bestholidays #visitalgarve #visitportugal #cantskipalgarve #cantskipportugal #cleanandsafe #turismo #ferias #holidays
One of these days, we’re finally going to do som One of these days, we’re finally going to do something adventurous and exciting, like Disneyland. 😒🤞🏻😬 • Forget the animals, my top thing to see on safari is that little table they put out with snacks and champagne that’s lit up on one side by an epic sunset and on the other side by an even more epic rainbow. Yeah, thanks for setting that up @gondwanalodges 🙏🏻 Still not entirely sure how your rainbow machine works....🤔 • #safari #namibia #namibia🇳🇦 #sunset #igsunset #rainbow #kalahari #collab #africa #gondwana #sunsetsafari #epic #safariphotography #wanderfam #holidayswithkids #travelkids #adventurefamily #familyvacations
Life is what happens to you while you’re busy lo Life is what happens to you while you’re busy looking at other peoples vacation photos on an app that collects your personal information to sell. But, hey, at least it’s not TikTok. 🤷🏼‍♂️🤫 • Still not in #namibia🇳🇦 but pretending to still be in #namibia but maybe we’re still in #namibia👍🏻 (or not) because I don’t really want you to know where we’re at right now just in case you’ll burgle our house because you know we’re not home right now (or are we?). • #wanderer #familytravels #familytravel #familyiseverything #holidayswithkids #madbadtraveldad #kidsonholiday #awaywego #outdoors #hikingwithkids #igtravel #outdoorphotography #arch
Prissy. Moody. Thin-skinned. Always too cold. Over Prissy. Moody. Thin-skinned. Always too cold. Overly concerned about looks. Stage mom. Pretentious. Catty. Prone to fits of panic. Shopaholic. These are all words my wife uses to describe me (and she’s right). And yet I’ve still decided to keep her. 😔 #seewhatididthere 😃 • Surprise, more stuff from #Namibia #namibia🇳🇦 #namibiatravel #namib No, we’re not there right now #Africa #desert #wanderfam #wanderlusting #familytravel #holidayswithkids #familytravels #travelgram #igtravel
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About Me

About Me

I am a father, husband, world traveler, and unsolicited masseur. My wife thought that last description was creepy and untrue until she received an unexpected massage. After that, she just thought it was creepy. I love non sequiturs. Cake and children are equally delicious. When not around children who are screaming and crying, I like to read books. I have not read a book in seven years.

Instagram

wherethekidsroam
I can’t believe we’re going to wake up tomorro I can’t believe we’re going to wake up tomorrow and this nightmare will all be over. 🥳 This means I can: finally burn the mask I wear that gave me eczema on my face perfectly in the shape of the mask I wear; go back to being coughed on by people in small elevators who like to cough on me while making eye contact; comfortably use my t-shirt to wipe off the butt sweat of somebody who just used the shoulder press machine before me at the gym; and allow myself to linger uncomfortably on full-frontal hugs with people I just met. It’ll be just like old times again. 😳#isthishowitworks #newyear #goodbye2020 #backtonormal • Seriously, did anyone else notice the lack of common colds, the flu, whooping cough, impetigo, norovirus, dengue, and Ebola that our kids usually bring home from school each winter? I kinda miss dengue and rapid weight loss if I’m being honest. But are we ever going to give up masks and social distancing now? 🤔😱😑 • I heard today that loneliness is equivalent to smoking a pack of cigarettes a day. That means, by my calculations, I roughly smoked 300 packs of cigarettes this year. I suppose I should resolve to stop smoking, but I don’t feel I can do it alone. 😔🙂🙃 • Happy New Year everyone 🎇 🍾 #2020won
Merry Christmas from the six of us! 🎄👨‍👩‍👧‍👦👨‍👦
The trick to shooting landscapes when your annoyin The trick to shooting landscapes when your annoying family keeps jumping into the picture is just to dress them so that they blend in with the background. #problemsolved #phototips • I’m not great at starting conversations, but I’ll try. Where do? I mean, what? Well, that is. Umm. How do you go to? I mean, where you go when COVID go bye bye? What country? Please respond so that I can ignore your answer and then randomly reply eight weeks later at 3am your time. #badatinstagram • Ok, gotta run. Our chat has been fun. Back to trying to learn how to (enjoy) TikTok. I can’t wait to get all my trendy entertainment needs satiated in 15 second doses. I hear the trend this week involves people ripping out other people’s hair so that it makes a popping sound (no joke). I can’t wait. I have so much to learn from the youth. • #portugaltravel #lisbonlife #lisbonalive #lisbonportugal🇵🇹 #travelfamilyblog #familyvacation #familyvacay #portugalpassion #portugalvisuals #portugal_lovers @visitportugal
Some of the best moments in life happen when your Some of the best moments in life happen when your wife won’t exit the car because it’s too hot outside. 😘 @socal_to_sevilla • #spitzkoppe #namibia #travelwithkids #tripadvisorkids #roaminggnome #familytravel #hikingwithkids #wanderfam
When we land in your country, you’ll know. @wher When we land in your country, you’ll know. @wherethekidsroam • Iceland = most beautiful country everrrrrrrrrrrrrr. • Please let me know what you think is the most beautiful country in the world (and then I’ll let you know why you’re wrong 😈😠👎🏻😾)! • #travelnomad #wanderout #wandermore #wanderlusters #wanderlustlife #braveandfreeadventures #adventureofalifetime #adventuregram
I thought 2020 was going to be the year I got ever I thought 2020 was going to be the year I got everything I wanted. But it turns out it’s just the year I’m grateful for everything I already have. • Seriously, this has been the best, and yet, toughest year of my life. The worst was losing that major, lucrative international modeling job because I’m short and unattractive 😒😅 • Btw, if you go to Namibia (and you should), you have to stay with @gondwanalodges They treated me like the beautiful princess I am 🙋🏼‍♂️
If I didn’t read the news each day, I’d swear If I didn’t read the news each day, I’d swear this was the best year of my life. 😒🤔😃 #happinessnow #enlightenmentnow • I have this giant wheel of captions in my house (it’s about the size of the wheel on Wheel of Fortune...a bit overkill, I know). And every 4-10 days I’m forced to spin the wheel in a pathetic effort to stay relevant (do people even read IG posts anymore? Or has everyone moved onto Reels, Stories, TikTok, or, god forbid, actually have a real life? 😱). Mostly the wheel lands on “make fun of wife”, “make fun of influencers”, “make fun of self”, or, sometimes, unfortunately, “make joke that will cancel me”. But today, for some godawful reason, it landed on “be positive.” 🤮 This is my poor effort to do so. • Being alive now > being a famous dead person. Remember that. This means you and I are greater than Alexander the Great🤴🏻#greaterthangreat #greatfulness • 2+0+2+0=4 pretty much sums up 2020, no? #technicallytrue • In the end, we have such little, precious time on this earth. Thus, I think you should just take a moment to tell me how much you love me and how grateful you are to have me in your life. I think it will help us both (especially me). Namaste. 🙏🏻😃🙌🏻 • #wanderfam #madbadtraveldad #traveldad #travelfam #wanderlust #holidayswithkids #exploremore #getoutside #wandering #vacaykids
Anyone who knows me knows what a negative, fatalis Anyone who knows me knows what a negative, fatalistic, cynical ass I am. So, here’s my attempt to be positive. I am positive we’re all going to die (very soon). Happy Friday!! 🥳 • This is a picture of my kids impatiently awaiting the rapture. 😒 • Where in your house do you plan on sobbing uncontrollably when the end times are upon us? 💀 • I literally read/watched so much this week by @garyvee about how I’m supposed to put out positive, uplifting content. And this is what I came up with 😬🤷🏼‍♂️ #ineedhelp 😂 • Hashtag hashtag hashtag that won’t do anything hashtag hashtag hashtag hashtag hashtag taghash taghash hashytaggy hashy mctagster #bali
Happiest of birthdays to my youngest. Even though Happiest of birthdays to my youngest. Even though he weighs more than his older siblings, and even though he acts like he’s their fraternity big brother, and, well, even though the dirt he brings into our lives on a daily basis is slowly killing us, he’s still our baby and always will be. 👶🏻💕😍🥳🤩 #happybirthday #cumpleañosfeliz • #mallorca #mallorca🌴 #holidayswithkids #travelfamily #wanderfam #familytravel #familytravels
This is basically me watching the US presidential This is basically me watching the US presidential election results right now. Only with way more anxiety and way less enjoyment. #usa🇺🇸 • Will it be over soon? Will democracy survive? Will people respect us again? Will the sun rise tomorrow? Can I safely drink any more alcohol than I already am? • #wanderfam #balilife #bali🌴 #baliindonesia #balitrip #traveldad #travelfam #wanderlust #holidayswithkids #exploremore #getoutside #wandering #vacaykids
Here’s a photo of somewhere that looks fairly Eu Here’s a photo of somewhere that looks fairly Europe-y. It was probably taken in the capital of Europe, or something like that. Like, the city of Malta in the country of Paris. I dunno. So, yeah, there you go. You’re welcome. Don’t say I never gave you anything. #geologylesson • Btw, looks like Europe is going to lock down again soon. Tell me your favorite place in Europe that you’ll never, ever get to see again and why you have tears in your eyes right now👇🏻🙀😉😘 • #wanderfam #traveldad #travelfam #wanderlust #holidayswithkids #exploremore #getoutside #wandering #vacaykids #traveladdict #travellife #travelphoto #travelpics #traveldiaries #travelbug #TravelAwesome #travelpic #travelers #travelstoke #travelgirl #traveldiary #traveldeeper #travellingthroughtheworld #travellers #travelph #travelersnotebook #travelmore
Big giveaway time! 🥳 • Win a chance to trave Big giveaway time! 🥳 • Win a chance to travel with us and watch my kids the entire trip while my wife and I enjoy ourselves.* • To enter, just tag someone, anyone. Bonus entry if it’s a person you don’t like. Another bonus entry if, in the comments, you accuse that person of doing something they never actually did. • The winner will be announced by a drawing that I have manipulated so that you have no chance to win. • *Flights, meals, and accommodations not included. Void where people are crazy. Sorry Florida 😕 • Good luck 🍀👍🏻 • #familytravel #wanderfam #holidayswithkids #travellingfamily #familytravels #lisboa🇵🇹 #Lisbon @portugal #portugal🇵🇹 #adventurefamily #wanderlust
Never going back to California. ✌🏻🌅 • I Never going back to California. ✌🏻🌅 • I know others will want to know how we escaped. That’s why I created an e-book titled “How to Quickly sell your California Home with an Ocean View and give away all your Expensive Furniture just to Move into a Tiny Apartment in a Country that Makes it Nearly Impossible to do Simple Things like Open a Bank Account.” The e-book is priced to sell - $699.00 (reduced from $799.00). They’re digital, but still, somehow, there are only a handful of copies left. Act quickly. • As you can tell from the photo, we’re models. DM me for campaigns (I hope you’re good at Photoshop). • 📸: @gingerously_g • #españa🇪🇸 #espanha #wanderfam #holidayswithkids #hikingwithkids #igtravelling #covadonga #asturias #wanderlusters #kidsonholiday #familytravel #familytravels #familyportrait #familyadventures
(Us, from left to right) Finger in his eye, she’ (Us, from left to right) Finger in his eye, she’s not looking, her hand is over her face, I have a cheesy-yet-simultaneously-creepy-serial-killer smile, and he’s crying uncontrollably. And this was our BEST shot 🤦🏼‍♂️ • THIS is why we’re not the bucketlist family (and because we’re older, have to work for a living, are less cute, less wholesome, work out way less (because we’re working), and I say the word “fuck” a lot in my posts...oh and I’m not constantly “motivating” people by selling them things they don’t need. So, yeah, a lot going against us 😅😘). #jealousy • Click the link in bio to purchase my e-book called “The Complete Guide to Convincing Everyone you’re Living the Dream so they’ll Hand Over Their Money to Buy your e-book about Living the Dream.” • #wanderfam #travelwithkids #holidayswithkids #wanderingteam #spaintravel #familytravel #familytravels #travellingthroughtheworld #espanapic #castlesofinstagram #lonelyplanetspain #parentinglife
My favorite thing about social distancing is it’ My favorite thing about social distancing is it’s no longer acceptable for strangers to come up behind me, put their arms around me, kiss my neck, and whisper sweet nothings in my ear. It was starting to make me uncomfortable. • Even though I rarely post, I’ve completely run out of things to say in captions, obviously. Next caption, swear to god, will be “live, laugh, love.” • This spot is super close to another amazing @gondwanalodges lodge. Even if you’re camping, stay with them. They have heaps of campsites too. 🏕 • #namibia #holidayswithkids #travelfamily #familytravel #familytravels #outdoors #africa #namib #igtravel
If you asked me, I’d say two of the best decisio If you asked me, I’d say two of the best decisions I’ve ever made is having children and moving to Europe. If you asked my wife, I can guarantee she’d only say it was marrying me. Almost certain about this one. Yeah, positive. It’s marrying me. Final answer. But let’s not ask her. 🤫 Let’s just assume that’s her answer. I find life is much better when I operate through wild assumptions. #iassumeshewontreadthis #iassumeimtheonlyguyshehaseversleptwith #iassumeimnotgoingbald #iassumeimsupertall #iassumegirlswantme #iassumeguyswanttobeme • It was too cold to swim outside, so we spent all morning swimming indoors in the heated pool. You really think of everything @montesantoalgarve 🤔💡😃🙏🏻 Have I mentioned that our room came stocked with food, water, beer, and wine? #bliss 🤤 • #montesantoresort #montesantoalgarve #carvoeiro #algarve #bestholidays #visitalgarve #visitportugal #cantskipalgarve #cantskipportugal #cleanandsafe #turismo #ferias #holidays
We cut the boys’ hair to circumvent the Instagra We cut the boys’ hair to circumvent the Instagram robots who think I’m constantly posting pictures of topless girls. Having said that, yesterday some guy said I had such lovely girls and asked me if they were triplets. So I give up...🤦🏼‍♂️ • We’re currently at a super fun resort that’s super clean. Kids are in love with the indoor heated pools, I’m in love with all the caipirinhas I drink while they’re at the Kids Club! 😅 @montesantoalgarve #montesantoresort #montesantoalgarve #carvoeiro #algarve #bestholidays #visitalgarve #visitportugal #cantskipalgarve #cantskipportugal #cleanandsafe #turismo #ferias #holidays
One of these days, we’re finally going to do som One of these days, we’re finally going to do something adventurous and exciting, like Disneyland. 😒🤞🏻😬 • Forget the animals, my top thing to see on safari is that little table they put out with snacks and champagne that’s lit up on one side by an epic sunset and on the other side by an even more epic rainbow. Yeah, thanks for setting that up @gondwanalodges 🙏🏻 Still not entirely sure how your rainbow machine works....🤔 • #safari #namibia #namibia🇳🇦 #sunset #igsunset #rainbow #kalahari #collab #africa #gondwana #sunsetsafari #epic #safariphotography #wanderfam #holidayswithkids #travelkids #adventurefamily #familyvacations
Life is what happens to you while you’re busy lo Life is what happens to you while you’re busy looking at other peoples vacation photos on an app that collects your personal information to sell. But, hey, at least it’s not TikTok. 🤷🏼‍♂️🤫 • Still not in #namibia🇳🇦 but pretending to still be in #namibia but maybe we’re still in #namibia👍🏻 (or not) because I don’t really want you to know where we’re at right now just in case you’ll burgle our house because you know we’re not home right now (or are we?). • #wanderer #familytravels #familytravel #familyiseverything #holidayswithkids #madbadtraveldad #kidsonholiday #awaywego #outdoors #hikingwithkids #igtravel #outdoorphotography #arch
Prissy. Moody. Thin-skinned. Always too cold. Over Prissy. Moody. Thin-skinned. Always too cold. Overly concerned about looks. Stage mom. Pretentious. Catty. Prone to fits of panic. Shopaholic. These are all words my wife uses to describe me (and she’s right). And yet I’ve still decided to keep her. 😔 #seewhatididthere 😃 • Surprise, more stuff from #Namibia #namibia🇳🇦 #namibiatravel #namib No, we’re not there right now #Africa #desert #wanderfam #wanderlusting #familytravel #holidayswithkids #familytravels #travelgram #igtravel
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